It's been a quiet day to start the week. Managed to underline my most important task by confirming my first interview for GECF and the client seems fairly content. This is my first serious paying project this year, one that can help me replace the savings I p*** away for much of this year and somehow, I hope to be in something of a profit by the time the year has ended.
Anyway, there is a silver linning in being broke. I'm more concious of expenses. I've been snacking less, which is also good for the health - now that I'm hovering slightly below the $100 kg mark, I guess I could do with a few less meals - less buffets that's for sure. Also go home earlier so I use public transport and not cabs. There's so much focus on trying to make more money but very little is said about trying to keep it. I, for one, don't seem to be able to keep money and I hope that somehow, when the revenue starts to come in more regularly, I hope I can keep the current discipline I've had during these past few days of skintdome.
Weekend was pretty good. Ended up having mini-reunions with two army friends. Saturday was spent catching-up with Roy and Sunday was spent with Bear at Hooters. My army gang and I used to hang out Hooters when the place first started out in Singapore and reunions at Hooters have become something of a tradition.
Anyway, I actually like Hooters for its $10, 3-course set-lunch. Food is simple American Chow Down stuff -wings, burger, salad and sandwhiches - which they do very well. No need to do fancy things if you can do simple things well. It's also a good place to spend an afternoon by the river.
Reunions with the army gang are as usual, fulfiling. We're a diverse bunch. Bear, aka Bryan aka Lee Heng, aka Teddy is now a happy family man living in the deep West of Singapore. At heart, he wants the simple things in life and seems to have found contentment with married life. Roy hit on a good business idea when I first came back and he sold out. However, its not affected him and he's settled down quite nicely with a very nice girl. Joe the perpetual student, now studying for his PhD. As for me, I'm still enjoying trying to find contentment. With the exception of the two months with Thui in my life last year, I'm not sure what I'd do if I had contentment and the ups and downs didn't happen to me.
I'd be lying to you if I told you I loved the SAF. I don't fall for the "Die for your Nation-clap trap" that seems to spew out of the mouths of whelps behind a desk. I did fantasise that I had latent talent to a military leader ala TE Lawrence but I think my life has turned out better now that I've released that I'm no good and unhappy when I'm part of an organisation. Some of us are meant to be wives....I on the other hand am probably destined to be a prostitute.
Having confessed my distaste for organisations, I found the people that would touch my heart in the SAF in the two and half years of full-time service. The two and a half years will rank as the most educational in my life. Compared to National Service, university undergraduate life was...a doddle. Although you could say that the people I met at university were 'intellectually' more aligned with me. But the truth is, I only speak to two people from my college of which only one of them came from the same course. I have utterly no regard for my university professors, most of whom I regarded as out of touch with reality. - As my Uncle Jeffrey, my ex-boss from Asher communications once said -"When you write 2,000 words in college, you can waffle and still get good marks. When you write 300 words in the real world, you sweat blood for 3-days."
Perhaps it had something to do with Excercise Swift Lion, where we lost a good friend. But the two and a half-years allowed one to see human nature at its most basic. Ironically, its in the army, the most rank-structured of organisations where you get to see people for what they are behind the social bullcrap that we create for ourselves. The bureaucrates at the Ministry of Defense won't realise this, they can't, its not in their programming - but one learns very quickly that connections and education have very little to do with leadership ability and character.
You find out very quickly that the people who talk the most about "Dying for your nation" are usually sitting behind a desk and the least likely to actually get into any danger. On the other hand, the half-educated Hokkien speaking guy who curses everyday in the army will be the type of guy who fights for the nation.
The A-level student (me) as they say is easy to control They believe the lines that they are fed - we are apparently smart enough to understand "National Education." It's easy to control us because...."Go to Dentention Barraks (DB), it goes on your record and you lose your place at NUS." So, when it comes to think like "team work" and "standing-up for people" ........."Oh God, my future's at stake." .....I remember failing to check the state of ammunition properly while I had been a guard commander. (rounds were old and faulty) - The Battalion Orderly Sergeant (BOS) had raised the issue and I had to file paper work with the RPs. I remember the RP Sergeant, an OCS drop out telling me "It's a shame you can't push it all to your men."
The "Hokkien Soldier," on the other hand simply does not understand "National Education." - Most of them seem to preoccupied with things like how to make extra-money to feed their quite often "broken famililes." According to the Ministry's system, they are not smart enough to understand the need for "Authority," so when they are faced with a specialist or officer that think rank automatically equates with respect, they voice their opinion. Somehow, when they like you......One of the guys I remember most fondly is Sheng Chye Kok, a goofy character, but when took care of him ...he knew how to take care of you....somehow that extra cake from the cookhouse would end up at your door.
A young man once asked me if I would die for Singapore. I told him, he'd have to ask me that question once he'd served National Service. Perhaps this answer sounds cheap. But I believe that until one goes through this rite of passage, one will never know the real Singapore and the things that are worth fighting for.
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